Caveat Author
by Janet Berliner
This will be a very short blog, not because I’m lazy but because it’s something I feel strongly about, something that needs to be said in a short and pointed manner.
We write and talk a lot about success–the yearning for it, the fear of it and the acceptance of it when it comes. That’s all good stuff and necessary for our wellbeing. What we don’t discuss is the attitude change that happens all-too-frequently in our friends and colleagues.
Here’s my theory, based on my own experience and that of many others:
There are people who are what I call ‘Funeral Followers’. They get warm and fuzzy coming to the aid of their sick, struggling friends. They love to commiserate. But here’s what happens when those friends have something good to share. The Funeral Followers disappear. Or they come up with things they would change in a book already out. Or they write reviews–most often for nothing–where they bury the lead and start with something negative like: “This book arguably has the worst cover blurb I’ve ever read.”
Sure, they ultimately praise the author as a genius, but they know full well that it’s the first sentence that counts, in a Google search for example. It’s that whole first impression thing. Think of it this way. I’m dressed by a designer for a black tie affair. I go to the bathroom before making my grand entrance and the unthinkable happens: Trailing toilet paper adheres to the back of my outfit.
On the way into the grand ballroom, I meet a lot of people I know. Does one tell me about it? Noooo. Of course not.
I remember once, waiting at Michael’s in New York to have breakfast with Larry Ashmead. A well-dressed woman sat down across me. She had neglected to take the dry cleaning tag off her designer jacket. The moment I noticed, I told her how great she looked and told her about the tag. She was grateful almost to the point of tears.
Michael’s being the place where publishing makes many of its deals, I could have thought, ‘Hey, don’t say a word. She may be after the same book deal you want.’
Sad to say, many if not most people do take the latter route.
At this point, if you’re still with me, you’re probably getting your panties in a knot and asking why I’d be saying this to you when you would never do such things.
I’m writing this as a warning, thus the title.
Here’s one personal example. If I’d been warned, I’d have shed fewer tears and felt less betrayed.
I started a Writers Workshop, which lasted for six years. The writers were my peers and my friends, or so I believed. My first breakthrough novel launched the day before our monthly meeting, which I thought would be something of a celebration. Only it wasn’t. One person of the nine who attended brought a cake. He was a guest who had not yet written anything. As for the rest, they ignored the entire event.
For me, that was the end of the workshop and the end of any kind of real friendship with all but one of the members . . . the one who couldn’t make it that Sunday.
Does this matter in the scheme of the Universe? Of course not. Did it matter to me? Absolutely.
And when your first book comes out, or you first see your name in a New York Times Book Review ad or even on “the List”, remember my warning. Not everyone you call friend will be happy for you.
